Away From The Waves

For me a blog has never really been an option. I have considered it before and contemplated all the topics I could focus on. Trying my hardest to figure out what would make me seem interesting enough for people to read? I could write about ministry, I could write about being a pastor's wife or a mother of four. I could write about some of the amazing people that I get to do life with on a daily basis or some of the interesting people I meet while working at Starbucks. There are so many things I thought of and yet nothing seemed to fit. Not one of these things made me feel excited about writing a blog. It wasn't until I read a quote in my Solo Journal that I realized the benefit of writing a blog.

Henri Nouwen wrote, "Make the conscious choice to move the attention of your anxious heart away from the waves and direct it to the One who walks on them and says, 'It's me. Don't be afraid'...Look at him and say, 'Lord have mercy.' Say it again and again, not anxiously but with confidence that he is very close to you and will put your soul to rest." Writing is something I can do to focus on the truth of my life. It makes me look closely at what God is doing and trying to teach me in my everyday life. Not any specific thing, but every specific thing, each part of who I am, every person I encounter. As I learn, I invite you to learn with me. My hope for this blog is to learn more about God and what He has for my life and if at all possible allow others to learn from my life as I live it.

There was a time not all that long ago when I felt the pressure to wear different hats in specific situations. When I was at home I was mom or wife, at Church and around people I was Pastor, at school I was student or at work I was employee, I was never just Carrie.  This was an incredibly stressful and difficult way to live. I realized that I didn't have to put on different hats but I had to become the Carrie I was supposed to be in every situation. I needed to be who God wanted me to be everywhere. This revelation was so freeing to me when I could just be me. That doesn't mean I am the same old me, this revelation put a new level of expectation on my life to truly allow God to use me in every area, as wife, mother, pastor and person. This is not always the case, I fail more times than I would like to say but I think the greatest part about this is that I am not being fake in any part of my life, I am just me and that is o.k.